Right or wrong

I know I missed valentines.

I received gifts, many of them but they aren't really that important actually.

But, this is the first valentine I spent attached. However, I became single at it's last minute. Literally, last minute. 2359.

Because I broke up with my boyfriend then. They said, ruthlessly.

I say, the best way.

That is the gift he gave me.

And I won't hide, judge all you want but this is the break up message I sent him:

// "!?" I hate this sign. I told you. This sign makes me feel like you're uneducated. Your "surprised" or "confused" is express by such a loathsome sign.

You say "I love you" to like almost every one. I see it on insta. Alright, I'm not dumb and I'm not jealous cause I know you what you meant when you said to them. Well, it's called gratitude and happiness not love. It disgusts me how you tell "I love you" to everyone and then you throw so many to me too. Which makes me feel like I'm one of your um.. Friends?(ya those people you hang out with)

Your replies makes no sense. They're lame. And when you type long messages, it's so lame and so fake I can't even look at it. Please, you're trying too hard, which tells me one thing: you have nothing better to say.

I'm being frank, I'm not trying to hurt you, but yeah. I wanted a boyfriend, not a dog. You "promise" me something once you want to prove your words. Childish. You apologize and back away whenever I tried to tell you that I'm unhappy, without really knowing where you've gone wrong and what exactly was I unhappy for. Apologizing for the sake of apologizing? Your apologies mean just as much as your "I love you"'s.

I'm not sorry, but I HAVE to mention this, your English irks me. Really. It gets on my nerves. I'm okay if you speak broken English to me because when it's natural, I speak broken English too. But it sounds plastic, artificial coming out of your mouth, and I felt so awfully turned off with your English. They're all over the place, messed up.(like who's speaking them)

I hate it when you say I'm a great girlfriend. It just proves to me that you don't ever have an opinion of your own. You never made me yours, all you did was try and convince yourself that I'm yours by being happy and thankful. For what? Nothing. It's like you're making up an artificial character. You loved me and I loved you? You wanna add the happily ever after? Please mature up, get your head out of that ass because it's not a hat. Speak sincerely and mean what you say.  I threw tantrums at you and you said I was a good girlfriend? I was aloof and you said I was a good girlfriend?

Lastly,  I don't like saints okay? 

You are one fake shit, you cannot even express displeasure, lying all the time to make yourself feel good. but thankfully we are equals on that.

You think you know me. Remember I asked you that question? Well, I'm not like that. I'm not those brainless girls(obviously not of the same kind as you), that falls head over heels because of a sweetened tongue and high level of tolerance. I rather you scold me and then I might respect you more. I'm not a kid, I don't need you to tolerate. If you can't even handle yourself, I seriously don't see why you have it in that THICK head of yours that you could handle another being, a girlfriend?

This is not to hurt you, this is not to make you feel bad. But this is my gift to you: Think, before you speak. Learn, before you decide to act.

I wanted to get the present before I break with you, because I wanted to remember this lesson I had too. I learn that perhaps I should consider before getting myself into a relationship with brainless people like you which officially makes the most boring relationship I've ever had.

Let's break up. :-) //

Okay the words are rather harsh.

Words may be forming in your heads:

Bitch, cruel, slut, stuck up

But before you continue, here are my reasons; regardless of whatever you think.

He is like that, every word I've said is true. There's nothing to hide, it's true and transparent as it is. He is that lousy a boyfriend.

Why get together with him in the first place?I believe everyone deserves a chance: for both myself and him.

Works for all my boyfriends.

Too bad. You can't handle your heart, I'm still glad I handled mine well.

If you are reading this Raph, don't pity yourself. Don't spend time being sad like what you told me you will do. Because if you think this hurts, then my heart have been trampled before, and crushed a million times more painful than yours. So don't you dare, don't you dare wallow in self-pity.

Learn what is pain, what's it's like to feel hurt, before you even allow yourself to say:" I'm sad, I can't stand it." Because you don't know how it feels like to really feel it.

Ya okay I've touched enough on that, it's just pathetic.

 Okay as I've mentioned.

Anton Casey.

Anyone? Heard of this person, a person I perceive as a really silly person?

I heard from my teachers, I've also heard their comments.

Let's see.

This guy, apparently a foreigner, decides to voice his opinions about our public transport here in Singapore, with frankly, rather insulting words like "poor and stench". (Very much like my picture up there actually haha)

Well, to me his only fault, only mistake, was that his silly brain didn't tell him that by reflecting his "really-not-so-amazing" comments online would cause him trouble, great trouble.

Such a big headed man,busy looking down his nose on everybody, forgetting to look out for himself.

I believe it wasn't that unbearable to come out of your life that was abundantly supplied with splendid resources and experience life differently for awhile? A few days? But obviously, it was just him being arrogant.

It was just that, an irritating voice. Yes, we would get angered and the disrespect, and would want to bring him down a peg or two. 

Did we need to make him lose his job, leave the country, bring the matter to such a great extent? Did us, Singaporeans really felt the need to be outraged to such an extent to cause such a great downfall upon him, and his self proclaimed greatness? Actually, it's really uncalled for.

I'm not very well off, I'm also a local, I believe I wouldn't be deemed as biased?

What about his family? His gorgeous wife, beautiful son? What about them? It's just a few words, we really need learn to mature up and do what we always say "ignore". Yes, really just maybe post a few comments or voice your opinions then really, MOVE ON.

It makes you really happy to have him leave in shame? If your son were the one? If your husband were the one? You would scold him, tell him to stop thinking so highly of himself, or even just tell him he would learn his lesson, but would you kick him out of his house?

Since he has decided to build his career, his family here, and we have accepted him as part of this country, we have to teach and nurture him like one of us right?

Okay I'm just saying, and I'm done saying.

Anyway, I've got a mission to accomplish this year, a mission tht makes my life go down the successful path. So I would blog that often.

Recently I realized some of you readers, who actually bear my crap haha(: thanks!

16 February 2014

Singapore

Life is short, break the rules.

I'm just gonna post photos about new year. It was great but maybe I'll elaborate sometime later,Using computer? since now I'm using my phone.

Don't mind me alright if I get to "weird" by not saying anything.

 Eve.

Day 1.

Day 2.

Day 3.

Le favourite.

Guess why? *yes I mean this shot and the outfit flatters*

Day 4. 

Photo bombed. But it's alright, we know who's the main.

Okay I know that's very little, very very little for new year, but you can't blame me right? I'm not in the mood. 

Mandatory selfie.

If you're wondering what is this black picture, it's the lighted "lantern" that's the focus.

It's Cynthia's very own lantern, you know those that you wrote wishes on it and it flies.

Yeah, a lot of hopes and wishes WHICH I will not reveal now or ever.:P

Two pairs of shoes I changed for new year. (Overseas, can't bring many shoes though I almost brought my entire wardrobe)

Okay so about that lantern (I told ya I'm not In the right mind, jumping from this to that), I also attached a special small something to it.

Yup, the piece of puzzle. Maybe the only key, the only thing that I held on because it's what made us fit, what made us click. Yeah, me and him. But it went, away, not coming back again.

Just like the relationship I know, not coming back.(:

But it's okay, it was okay already.

Everything is fine.

Worked out. 

Junk food and the party had gotten to me. Thank god I could still move that fat ass.

And thank god I was in good shape when HE came back.

Today, since forever(he graduated), he was back.

But not giving me any feelings, but more reason to worry, and to work harder.

He was in one of the top schools.

But not a surprise, since I already knew he did well (already= before he even took the exam).

So I must do well too. That's crap, what has it got to do with me?:/

Yep, does it link? Relevant?

But it's okay, everything is fine.

I glanced at him for one second and it's fine.

It has been two years, whatever feelings have faded into nothingness.

I'm fine, alright, ready to fight.

I love this quote.

Because I've gone through what I think was enough for me to last for a lifetime.

Perhaps I'm slowly getting the hang of it, the meaning of "hardwork". Let's hope this lasts, let's hope I'll be fine.

I would've written more, if not for the limited amount my phone takes to upload.

The larger the content, the more the time taken.

Anyways, see ya again babies.

Till then, where I discuss about the hilarious topic (for those who actually know): Anton Casey 

Happy Valentines..... EVE

13 February 2014

Singapore