Delirious or not.

I am probably not suppose to be typing away on my phone right now.

I am probably supposed to do history or perhaps even English Language revision.

Or anything, but this.

This, right now, is the ample time I FEEL I have, the deceptive MISTAKEN feeling I possess that tells me I HAVE plenty of time.

Well definitely not. However, that does not stop me from throwing my messed up thoughts all over this page right before my English examinations.

Trust me, although my English results are (surprisingly or not) GOOD. even GREAT.

I lack the confidence I portray.

Happy but not.

Get it? I'm feeling confused and controversial of my own feelings.

This is life.

MY life.

Nobody probably would read this right before an exam because who the hell would?

I should stop and probably proceed to meet my best friend, and perhaps reply my boyfriend.

I feel like giving up on my hopes and dreams not because I feel hopeless.

Or even anywhere near useless.

It's just... A feeling.

Perhaps I should stop trying to be perfect.

20 October 2014

Singapore

Before

Before o's.

We're closer to the exams now. I feel very stressed but yet I'm not working hard.

I'm too relaxed for someone stressed.

Me and my boyfriend had an outing.

Our LAST outing before o's.

Saying goodbye hurts.

It really does.

But it's for the better right.

He took this for me.

Anyway, I feel like thanking everyone who's been there for me.

And everyone who's told me I am beautiful or smart on askfm.

Or personally.

Thank you for the praisory(:

Also, I met almost all of my bf's close and not so close friends.

I feel like a part of his life now and I'm happy about it.

That's how I feel, happy.

Especially when I meet a few of his close friends which I get to talk to.

If you guys are stalking me (which some of you had), thank you for including me in your outing or welcoming me.

I feel grateful for being part of his lives and being your friends too.

I love wearing his shirt.

Firstly, it smells of him.

Secondly? Oh please it suits me DOESNT IT? (What doesn't?)

It's like I really am a part of his life.

Okay I'm being stupid don't laugh at me (at least not infront of me)

Lastly, I'm sorry because I know for some of you I'm like an intruder that spoilt your class outing.

I don't know but I have no intention to intrude.

I tried my best to keep quiet and kept any comments to myself (which is soooo rare for me)

I'm a girl who speaks her mind.

Secondly I tried my best to let him play with you guys so if I really made it awkward.... (SORRY?)

Actually I'm too happy to meet you guys that I'm hardly sorry but... Haha.

By the way something surprised me so much.

Remember the cut I gave myself?

Because of my mom.

It left a hideous scar.

It doesn't look like it would go away.

Well, now it's a permanent reminder of my mom's treatment to me.

Let's not care about this now.

And hope I will study really hard.

Finally met VEN's bf.

Went out so much recently.

It's almost like it's AFTER exam.

I really hope I can focus.

I really hope so.

Because it's actually BEFORE it.

And I'm a jealous type of girlfriend if some of you are wondering what kind I am.

I get super jealous SUPER easily.

And I will go all mopey and sad if someone made me jealous.

But that'll be too my boyfriend.

To the certain someone who somehow did...

You better have IT, what it takes to make the jealousy actually make sense.

In other words, you better be better at something.

Or I totally know how to make you seem small and useless infront of me.

I'm really not those kind of girl.

Those kind that'll give you any chance at all to feel good about having my bf's attention.

You better have what it takes.

(This definitely has nothing to do with that girl above)

Totally.

Try to believe me guys, I cherish friendships (wow, even I'm laughing)

5 October 2014

Singapore