journey to the moon

Well this is a surprise post. (even to myself)

my schedule is full packed.

**wonders why i am here**

that's why it's a surprise.

time check: 1:43 am.

what is Cynthia doing staying up so late?

Yes, i'm finally working harder, so much harder.

( the above is totally "dirty" jokes free)

only for those cool ones who understands.

some of you would probably have inferred that i'm really tired. so more visuals less text.

wait, isn't text a form of visuals?

ah well.

was gonna type: lovely brother cooked supper for me

until he decided to eat my food. so nope. not lovely.

yes this is lovely.

yes it is no arguements.

now it's time for bed:

even though i dont feel like it (but i'm really tired)

even though i've been working hard on keeping in shape (for some secret things i'm gonna do; i'm not telling), and ive just eaten so technically i shouldn't sleep

even though i feel so UN- accomplished.

but whatever. nights kitties.

17 September 2013

Singapore

Life and its tricks

Who expects me to be here on this particular day?

we could say it's special.

not very much, just that last year's today is perhaps the day i would remember most clearly?

or maybe not?

well i have something hilarious to share.

SEEMS liker we've been talking.

SEEMS like he finally remembered me.

people like boly would say:

"no it could be just coincidental. that his statuses seems to reply to you"

something deep down, buried under those layers of hope, tells me yes, boly might be right.

it's just pure coincidence.

I'm not sad neither am i disappointed.

how can i be?

it's so many times.

well i am happy today.

no joke. really happy.

why? i don't even know.

since where must there be a reason to smile?

i deserve to smile...

don't i?

14 September 2012 was horrible

14 September 2013 is great ^^

 we'll see today alright. we'll see if life finally decide to give me a reason to smile.

suddenly decide to send little angels to make my life magical again.

it has been quite dull i guess.

will there be a twist? a twist to this distorted life story of mine?

even no, life goes on.

mouth smiles on. (doesn't sound really cool huh)

say hi to my mom will you?

she's so great right?

without her i won't be here right?

without her i won't be able to embrace the pain i've gone through.

without her, my heart will still be alive.

awww, i love her so much don't i?^^

if we're still together now, how would it be like?

will we still love each other deeply?

if we're still together now how will everything be?

will we still be hiding from each other?

like when we ended, you apologized even though it's not your fault.

14 Septemeber 2013

Singapore

Routines

Well hello my dearies.

how have you been?

currently i'm busy with a few things; namely exams (or more like PREPARING for exams), my online shop (which i am considering to expanding it into a BLOGshop perhaps?) and ofcourse working off those fats around my (everywhere).

Alright. remember the lady i posted about in my previous blogpost?

HER? <pretty much stolen from her blog>

before i get started.

her blog:

euniceannabel.blogspot.com

Go check her out! she's real pretty and nice and UGH, just pretty much an awesome girl?

she's modelling, studying and a blogger.

if you head over to her blog you'll see she has vlogs, and the latest one mentions ME.

YES ME.

i wrote in to he via email. she replied my email verbally through the video

>>>>>>> http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=ask+euniceannabel&oq=ask+euniceannabel&gs_l=youtube.3...5681.6293.0.6563.4.4.0.0.0.0.99.203.4.4.0...0.0...1ac.1.11.youtube.8QrI64cDi_k

GOGOGO to watch her talk about me haha (very tiny little part) but still it makes me happy ^^

OH and i've been doing alot of geography recently.

just did my workout and decided to relax (explains why i'm here)

well back to geography.

Actually if you don't dread studying that much, you'll find it rather amusing.

Like there's this theory or whatever you call it.

the government and authorities all around the world have been aiming for a population growth (afraid of human kind being extinct maybe?)

but yet the things or creatures (or whatever you call US) that are endangering the earth is actually us.

it's quite hilarious.

who knows trampling and stomping on grasses (pretty much what i loved to do), would actually cause so much problems?

"sand to be more prone to erosion, wind erosion" (proves that i studied)

The world seems to be huge.

but yet we're facing problems trying to find places to develop.

not so big after all?

enough of my nonsense.

anyway, one thing i agree with my geography textbook (or whoever who created it).

we should save the coral reefs.

this is random but we should save them. They're such amazing creatures (or plants).

most importantly, Cynthia haven't been to see them.

so beautiful.

you need to wait for me to visit you alright? (talking to the corals; funny haha. No?)

Like miracles, do you know corals could live on wrecked ships, sunken wastes?

(i know those who take core geography like me would know IF you studied)

well i believe many of you would've asked yourself, what you want to be in your next life if you got to choose?

for me it's definitely not humans. TIRING and PAINFUL.

i want to be coral reefs ^^

hey don't you dare laugh at me.

i love the sea (told you before.)

i wanna be beautiful and colorful and sway in the sea ^^

coral reefs are cool. point made.

let's move on.

previously i was into dresses right? i know it's a really quick change of subject.

do ketchup people. (catch up; no i'm not lame)

now i'm into jumpsuits/rompers?/overalls ugh whatever is the name for it.

yes this.

superbly pretty but i have no idea how am i supposed to get UNIQUE pieces.

okay but i'm still into dresses.

i'm contemplating whether to buy this.

really really pretty right?

but i don't think my fat legs will be able to pull it off ):

hey but some of you have fatter legs okay?!

okay.

now i wanna be small.

but whatever.

bye kitties,

i'm gonna bathe.

12 September 2013

Singapore

Pebble by pebble I path my way.

This is difficult.

Because I'm really becoming happier as each day pass.

Even though it's nearing 14 September that horrible day.

I don't get why too don't ask me.

This lady here, too pretty? Yes too pretty I can't even... 

So what can I do when I don't even have half her beauty?

 No not even 1/3? I don't cry because I'm too happy.

And I will still shamelessly post my photo.

I warned you.

But I'm sure you're happy to see me again?

No?

I don't care. Yes.

A little update on my life.

Firstly, my shop. It's doing great and I have millions and millions of new clothes.

Need I continue?

@foreverandalways1106 on Instagram.

Secondly,

I have soooooo many things to do I'm such a busy bitch and my hatred for my parents never dies. Phew! That was a long sentence.

Mailing.

Looooong queue at the post office.

Well and OFCOURSE exams are coming and me being me, could not get her eyes on her books):

Lastly,

Trying to get fats off those legs, tummy and everywhere.

FATS! Why are you always there?

Oh but as if that'll bring me down.

And AS IF I'm not already proud enough this cutie pie has to tell me this.

One lovely customer (:

Right? So adorable(;

One last last last last thing before I doze off.

I made one new mysterious Munchy poop (don't ask me why I call him that). But yes, guess he was sent by the Angels cause the heavens has finally took pity on me(:

He really would be there whenever I need him.

This Munchy poop(:

Hehehehehehe^^

Days ahead are not so dark with Munchy poop here.

One final final final final thing.

I know W.Y will return and haunt me, and I know while I'm posting this I still think he should be the one sending me those photos instead of Munchy poop.

But you know what?

I couldn't care less.

"There'll be a time even when you look, no matter how hard you search, you won't find me no more"

8 September 2013

Singapore

They brought back the smiles

Hello dearies!

Today is the best day since forever.

I got the loveliest of gifts (although it's teacher's day, and I'm not a teacher), and this gift, brought back the smiles, the laughter I've lost since September 14 last year, since I've lost him.

I thought I would never feel this way again, this lighthearted and carefree.

The joy that's really radiated from my heart and throughout my whole being.

I thought I'll never feel my face muscle ache from smiles and laughter again.

Not all of them, but yes, these people came as a gift, angels perhaps? Sent from heaven to bring back the Cynthia who was drowning under the darkness of emotionless days, who felt so lost she thought she'll never resurface and see the light again.

I was wrong though. Really really wrong. Because these people proved that I was capable of laughing till my sides hurt, capable of smiling from my heart again.

MEIMEI <3

NATNAT <3

MAIMAI <3

PAOPAO <3

NADNAD <3

I have no idea, why all of their "blog nicknames" I create for them are double similar names ( or whatever). I just feel so much love for them because why?

I laughed and forgot the world for so many hours today, it felt as if there was never this long and dark period of time I felt like every living second was a torture.

As if.

BUT STILL, I really did enjoy myself today so much I could find no reason for the tears to flow except for the laughter.

Thank you guise, thank you so much for bringing me back, for once again, being the one that introduce joy into my life.

My pretty face to thank you. ( just joking, or maybe...?)

And also, we played and went crazy and wild.

My friend she told me:

"I've missed you Cynthia. I have never laughed like today for such a long time. I will miss you Cynthia" <identify yourself the person who said this>

You have no idea, I was near tears.

Because it was a long time since anyone ever told me that sincerely, that I would be missed. I forgot the feeling of being cared for, of being happily and blissfully loved.

I really didn't know there was love for me that still existed.

Thank you people, I really really love you all so much I have no idea how to express it in words.

I'm sorry I didn't tell all of you my troubles, but no point being a party pooper right?

5 September 2013

Singapore

You may want to look ahead

Hey guys.

I hate my house.

//notice I don't say "home"//

Doesn't feel like one. Why? I have a pair of "can't find the right word to use at the moment" parents.

They dig out your wardrobe and tells you that you can't buy any more clothes.

I told you all haven't I? Whatever makes me happy, irks them.

Aren't they supposed to be the one buying my clothes for me? Now I buy it for myself, what right have they got?

Yesterday I asked myself, what's the point of living on? When nothing else makes me happy anymore?

I've always wanted to give up, but I realize I've got a hell lot of fuckers waiting for me to prove the wrong.

Hence, I'm still fucking alive.

Well guess what? If you don't allow me to have any clothes at this hell hole of a house, fine with me, I'll keep it at my friend's, that is VERY near my house.

Will do.

That'll do. All I have to do is speak to my friend's, Dreamatomy's , understanding parents, to have a wardrobe at her house(:

Then I will buy a hell lot of clothes and stuff it there.

Whenever I need to change, will just head over to her house.

It'll be a much better home, much better place to be in, rather than this fucking hell of a house.

You can't stay happy for more than a minute.

Should I buy this?

Oh and I'm currently obsessed with dresses, AND this model up there, she's really so beautiful.

Okay period, will see ya soon(:

2 September 2013

Singapore