I have so many feelings and emotions that I want to express...
I feel free.
The whole school and results ordeal is finally over.
I've finally settled down into a school and know where I'd be for the next few years (few was on purpose).
I know where my efforts would be directed to the following years of my life.
Thank you so much lovely boyfriend, you've been a great pillar of support.
As some of you may know, I've been going around this small country of Singapore, appealing for admission into Junior Colleges that I never ever thought of going to!
Trust me, it took me a lot of determination to see this through.
And a lot of tears too.
I've learnt so many lessons.
Firstly, not every mistake in life could be amended.
I wasted 4 years of my life achieving only things I believed was useful, I never achieved anything that was really useful.
Does that actually make sense to you?
Basically, I had no solid records for any school to accept me (laugh all you want seriously, I care.)
Those who thought I got enrolled into the school... HAHA gotcha.
Not as lucky as you thought.
I've sent letters, emails, turned up to request to meet the principal, approached a member of the parliament to request to meet the principal...
I met her and did the interview interview I so wanted to.
It wasn't an interview.
It was a meetup to know me better and I learnt I never got a chance.
Was quite upset, expected myself to cry.
But didn't. Felt really bad inside, but no tears came.
Trust me, I did not stop the tears from flowing, I just had none for some reason.
The principal said she believe I would have done great and excelled wherever I was (including her school), but they system was such that I could not be accepted.
Okay. I get it.
Moving on I wanted to post a meaningful blogpost about my life lessons but I found I couldn't.
Since I had something else to talk about.
I've spent four years of my life in a school I frankly detested.
Not the facilities, probably just the people there. (The majority)
I've only got myself to blame as I got hooked up into the immature affairs in the school.
The school is frankly incapable of producing adults out of teenagers.
The school produced kids who were immature who were closet muggers.
They produced little people who thought that A's on their papers was simply everything.
Funny thing was the teachers actually thought they'd produced young successful adults who went to great schools.
These people whom they recognize as "exemplary students" walks around the school in their fucked up cliques that targets certain people to be branded as "sluts".
This group of people were perhaps talented indeed (I couldn't deny)
They were so imaginative that they could tell stories and believed it were true.
And when a huge amount of people heard of it, the story automatically becomes a fact.
Here's an example. (I'll use myself since it happened to me)
There would be this "exemplary girl" in my class saying I'm a slut and I go after many guys.
I did not deny it but it doesn't make it a fact.
However she seems to think it does make it her fact. (God knows where she got the idea I went after someone)
Here it is, this is the truth.
I did not go after anyone. How so could I have if I did not spend a single cent on any guys of my batch who weren't actually attached to me.
I did not have the numbers of any guys or texted any guys not unless they approached me first.
I did not talk about secrets or gossip with any guys not unless they pretended to be my friend and I actually believed.
I ignored all of you when you frankly laughed at me in my face (even though there was nothing funny that I did) and talked bad about me infront of me.
Just because you couldn't get a reaction out of me with your stupid little antics.
Spreading rumors seriously?
When I approached want of the teachers in the school she told me something:
"Do not survive on hearsay"
But she actually openly branded a student exemplary when that student actually believed about whatever was said about me.
I do not say this without proof. Look at this guy that has finally walked out of his immaturity.
This person was really very very admirable to have come to me and spoken to me so nicely and faced his previous immaturity and prejudice to me.
And I tried my best to protect his identity.
But the immature fuckwits from my school and honestly my class would probably call this person a betrayer for admitting that he was wrong to say things about me just because everyone did it.
Well, this just shows how stupid teenagers in Singapore (or perhaps only my school) are.
DOWNRIGHT STUPID.
I kept quiet because I honestly did not want to make my own life more difficult than it already was.
Does not mean you guys totally won by doing those self-proclaimed exemplary acts.
Seriously guys, I feel it is unfortunate that you were born that dense.
There was this guy who formed a small group of frankly....
Who specialize in making up jokes about me and making it a point to laugh at them loudly so I could here them.
Like there probably was a competition of who laughed the loudest.
And the joke of it all? They actually looked at you to check if you actually heard their laughter and know it was you they were laughing at.
Yes guys, I do know.
You need a cake and candles and party hats so you could celebrate?
So I'm not generalizing.
I, in all honesty, cannot come up with a plausible explaination for this intense dislike towards me.
Besides ofcourse:
You're immature and a typical of yourself who'd submit to peer influence.
Hating on me just because others did it. Well done.
It's safe to say even if you scored way better than me in an exam you probably have an intelligence level of 0 as compared to me.
You're jealous of some trait I have.
I take pleasure in thinking that you people are just pathetic jealous people who finds pleasure in bringing down people who're obviously better than you.
I was probably born a social butterfly hence there isn't a single one of you out there in my school who doesn't know me (regardless of the reason and what you know me for).
Does that make your pathetic self esteem plummet that you feel the intense desire to see me branded as "a slut" or "a whore"?
And those people are the ones who get recognized as "exemplary students" and get rewarded for their "merits".
Basically, "give a dog a bad name and hang it"
A large anount of people (same immature species of fuckwits in my school) would say I am the slut who rants about everything on her blog.
And obviously the rest who are equally as stupid would believe so and somehow take pleasure in laughing together in a group behind the screen.
Shame on you.
Many, amongst those I've mentioned above, call themselves Christians.
What do you guys preach at the church?
How to call a girl in school a slut when obviously you haven't seen her sleeping around cause she doesn't?
"She looks like one because everybody says so. Everybody doesn't like her. Her grades isn't good and she refuses to study. So she's stupid"
Honestly, I think church has to do a better job in educating their fan club members.
Don't disgrace your religion like that. I have more respect for your religion even though I'm not part of it.
Basically, I'm done with these stories. (:
My fingers are getting tired from typing out the extent to which they are thick.
One advise thought obviously not gonna be taken:
Please do not believe you'll be successful just because you get good grades xD
Smart people could tell from a bunch of idiots which ones are smart.
Clique around with the same bunch of idiots and you'll see how "far" it gets you.
OH, And if I don't go around moping and lamenting about how I was "BULLIED" in school does not mean I'm the victim.
It is only because I loved how you all acted and I wanted you to continue.
Amongst you guys, it would be easier for me to stand out.
And if I rage at you...
Don't give up! You're not stupid, you just have bad luck when you think(;
And yes when I don't go for your stupid outings, it's because I'm afraid to face you guys.
Yes totally.
13 February 2015
Singapore
