Till we meet again.

Hello guys.

Many asked me to blog more, but I already blogged a lot, don't i?

I only blog when I have something to say, feelings to express xD

I was worrying of what should I blog about, since I said I would to someone on askfm.

Thankfully, I got the feel~ haha the magical feel!!

Okay I'm insane.

To be honest, thinking back from where I started this blog a good two years ago, I am amused and amazed at once.

I never thought I would be thinking like I am now, and doing what I am doing now.

I never thought my blog would be such an open diary.

I was once afraid that the cause of this blog, the guy that i once cried over countless of nights and hours, would find out about it.

But I realize I don't care now, I don't care if he found out how much it had hurt me for him to leave. How much I had cried for him. To let him know that I cherished what he didn't, and I live with no regrets.

Someone once implied that I was immature because I said he was immature.

Well you know what? I am.

Because I like to be, and because I can be.

I'm childish so what? At least I know when to stop being it when I need to.

(Like when you are tempted to be a childish keyboard warrior, you stop because you decide to be mature)

And I can proudly say, whatever I say here are my true feelings, THIS is my life. I'm honest with myself and with my feelings!

Don't like it? Well then too bad for you!

You guys call me a slut.

Although I don't see a need to prove myself, I find it an interesting topic.

Sluts, they sleep around and they play around. They are filthy and always sexually craved. What else? All things bad is what I know.

That's what some people are trying to tell me, that I am that disgusting thing above.

Well, needless to say, I'm not.

It's fucking cute NOT, not at all cute, to call me a slut when I am STILL A FUCKING VIRGIN.

Get that, okay, since when do virgins get called a slut? Actually in society nowadays: ALL THE TIME.

People say hey slut, to a fucking virgin.

One day a person would say "Virgin Mary was a slut" and then I will not at all be surprised.

Is that what you all are trying to do?

Oh and some of you are trying to tell me my ex found someone better in his new school.

What effect was that suppose to have on me?

I'm suppose to feel sad?

FUCK, I didn't know sluts get broke hearted too.

I AM NOT A FUCKING SLUT get it?

I'm damn bored with all your useless comments on askfm, can you get a life haters?

Don't even be a hater, it is really damn stupid.

Someone even asked me "how much?"

What you expect me to answer, "oh I'm a penny. Cause my name is penny"......-.- lame right? Or "oooooooh I'm totally free, giving away sluts now!!"

I'm not even cheap, cause I don't cost a single cent?

Do you really think I will think that of myself because some anonymous hater tries to make me feel bad?

HAHAHAHAHAHA no. I don't feel a thing.I just feel like I want to punch someone in the face because some incessant dirty fly keeps pestering me. (By the way, that's you, hater)

And then there's some who are even mad.

Those sexually deprived morons who asked if you could fuck me.

Well hell no. DREAM ON. Or what?

Try to stretch your dick and stuff it in your asshole or something?

Or just buy this>>>>

This would fit just fine, don't pretend it doesn't.

Or else actually fingers work on guys too. Like this >>>>

This is better because it is adjustable according to your preference.

I just proved it, I can be childish.

And I love to be. XD

Those trying to use people you think I care about to insult me, I have plenty to say to you.

Firstly, Lest you want to stoop that low, at least have the balls to show people that you are that way.

Have some balls even though you feel small?

Secondly, saying I'm not filial and then insulting my mom, to see if I defend her.

I said I don't love her. But I do care because I fucking did before. And I don't go "STOP" on the love I have for the woman who gave me life. GET IT? I don't want to love her because she's done things I can't bring myself to forgive.

As simple as that. I won't elaborate okay? Stop asking what she's done because unlike some attention seeking bitch, I don't like people knowing every single shit I go through unless I trust you with it. I'm not proud of hating my mom, don't need to rub it in.

My mom sees my blog, my mom understands I hate her. So that's it. Why does it concern you haters anyway?

Oh, I forgot, I know why.

Being unfilial is another fault you think you could use against me?

But I know what I'm doing so TOO BAD, it ain't not hurting me a single bit.

Thirdly, there's this funny thing about my brother, and asking if I've fucked him before.

You all know the answer before you all even asked it, why ask?

NO. I find it super disgusting, even the thought of being sexually involved with your brother.

You guys could think of it just to insult me.

If you're a girl, force and stick through your mouth into your body and let it come out of your vagina. That can be your dick. Because you're totally being a dick.

Disgusting enough?

Seriously expect me to learn from you guys?

That one preaching to me something about repentant.

seriously, preach somewhere else because you sound like a fake maniac, spamming my askfm and being irritating.

I'm not gonna be fake and go "amen" on and on after you preach to me.

You are those people that like and repost a million "like if you love god" posts on social networks and claim to be a strong believer.

True believers keeps all these in their hearts morons.

Lastly I have got friends, and people who like, care and love me. Those people who goes about saying :"nobody likes you" is plain foolish because these people do exist and they have names.

They aren't a called "nobody".

And so... Today I met up with one loving friend

Qi Qing xD

If you see this, don't get too touched.

She really cares for me and she was the one that listened to my REAL stupid and dumb times, that listen to me wail and cry over a guy even though I know it's not worth it.

I do stupid things willingly alright, not because I am stupid.

Stop saying I'm dumb guys, I'm not.

Honestly speaking, I think I'm gonna make it big in life.

Laugh if you want to, we'll see who gets the last laugh.

I know what I want and I'm gonna work towards it.

Trust me guys, I don't know if I was born a genius or not, but I do know I was not born stupid and I know I can do well.

People have told me that and most importantly I have told myself that a thousand times.

I'm gonna prove you guys wrong about my results. I know it is not great to fail subjects and to get horrible results, and I'm gonna change that.

If all you can do is disbelieve in me, then you'll get nowhere and I'm definitely going further than you.

I spend more time believing in myself than disbelieving in others.

Those who say I'm fat.

I'm sorry if having a not-that-toned body means being fat to you, but let me inform you.

It is not fat.

I am not fat because I'm of ideal weight. I'm not overweight so too bad, sad for you because it doesn't hurt, your dumb comment doesn't hurt me.

I am TRAINING for abs, and it is shaped, no lighting.

It's lame to say something that's there is not there just because you hate the fact that I have abs.

Well too bad for you because I do train. I trained very hard for it so bullshit it is, to say I don't have abs.

Now if you have a problem with me, it hurts you. Because you are the one feeling the hate, don't think you can try to make me feel it too.

Lastly, my lovely face for you all, specially for the haters because I know they "loveeeeeeee" seeing my face :D

And my adorable colorful hair tie xD

And it's already the supposedly anniversary of me and that MOST important ex, funny how I ALMOST felt something.

How I actually almost forgot. xD

24 June 2014

Singapore

Last day.

On the very last day of the best vacation, how would you feel?

I don't know about you but I sure feel like shit.

I kinda wish someone would give me enough crap for me to feel worse and distract me from this current problem.

At least until I'm back in Singapore.

Then I won't feel so much like I wanna leech here my whole life.

But nobody's been there to give me enough to think such that I'm distracted from this so right now I'm still thinking of ways to leave Malaysia later.

I've never regretted anything I did in my 16 years of life except for one sole thing.

even for me, that seems like an accomplishment.

I never go saying, I wish I never done that.

I've made the right choices for myself. 

That's because I learn from everything I do, be it you like it or not.

Just like this trip here.

I learnt loads. I made mistakes, I got into trouble.

But I learnt so I never wished those mistakes weren't made.

But I feel like crying now.

Why can't I cry yesterday, why can't I cry because of something else?

It feels stupid to cry just because you're going home (WHERE YOU DONT BELONG)

I've managed to pull my way through the countless of problems I have encountered but one silly problem like this got me stuck.

It's just going home CYNTHIA (cythia---an inside joke), JUST GET YOUR STUPID HEAD AROUND THE FACT.

I think I'm too tired to continue.

But on a side note,

Just to explain my previous blogpost which some people are too dumb to comprehend.

I thank my readers that actually support and like me sincerely and TRUTHFULLY because I'm really grateful they're there amongst the morons which I'm gonna address now. (I'll try to make this simple for you guys no worries)

I thank you very much (more so than the readers that like me) BECAUSE, is this loyalty? Despite how much you say you hate me and can't bear with whatever I say here and want me to close my blog down, you actually read it in so much more detail than the others. You even found language errors.

Teach me how to be loyal like you.

Must have learnt it from a dog, pity I don't own one.

Oh and I learnt why I am so arrogant some times. Pardon me.

See, I always feel like a genius.

18 June 2014

Malaysia

Summary and goodbye

Goodbye to Malaysia very very soon.

Tomorrow.

I don't know about you guys but my June holidays this year was special.

Or my stay over in Malaysia was really eventful.

Recap:

First was ofcourse the trip to Sunway Lagoon.

Second was a wedding I attended where I had my many glassfuls of wine. So much fun and I really felt as light as I was wasted (but I'm not okay)

(^ fave photo)

Then ofcourse we had me snake visiting our house.

So for those of you who think a few childish and spiteful words and actions could actually put me down or that I'll back down, THINK AGAIN. I was brought up in an environment where NONE of you would ever have experienced.

Climbed a few mountains as part of my exercise schedule.

Which reminds me, I've always wanted to be free, to have freedom, but I realize sometimes I really lose track of my life.

Is freedom really the point of it all?

The quarrels and that rough break up?

Was it all freedom to blame?

Caught this movie.

How to train your dragon 2

Highly recommended, I do not know if Singapore has it already or YET.

But if ever, the plot of this movie is not one you should miss.

It teaches some true values SOME people should learn.

Shopping yesterday while taking a moment off from my temporary job at my cousin-in-law's shop^^

And then another special first time experience at this place^

High tea with the best macarons I have EVER tasted. But the price is also a WOW factor.

The tea is also really special. It's not very sweet but it smells SUPER sweet.

But it's the feeling.

It's weird actually.

Surrounding the place is actually a tall glass wall separating us from the outside and it's also at the bottom of the building.

So that means everyone could stand at the top floors and outside and peer inside.

So I felt abit like an animal in the zoo being observed behind the glass panel.

Rather hilarious actually but it makes me feel less up-tight as it's a little less posh like all the other high tea restaurants I went to before.

And then yesterday i had steamboat at a steamboat restaurant.

Another first.

Really great, the food is delicious especially the mutton I had.

The tomyam soup is also not very oily and give me that all greasy feeling.

All in all, everything is beautiful EVEN the view.

BUT this is ofcourse layers and layers of fat piling on top of one another under that skin of mine.

Which means a really tiring workout session later today.

Waiting for evening in 2 hours time, perfect time for workout (IM WEIRD THIS WAY)

AND my mom is just being herself again. Super irritating nagging and nagging at me. So those who think I can't shut my mouth, THERE is where I got my genes from.

SHE is not a mom ANY of you have and any of you will EVER want to have. So if you don't know her don't tell me I'm being ungrateful for having a mom because I most rather NOT have such a life with a mom like her.

I DO NOT LOVE HER, so don't ask again. If you want to scold her though, don't scold her of actions that she didn't do because she has plenty for you to scold that she actually DID.

But then again, some useless AND brainless people speak anything that cross their minds like a child throwing a tantrum.

If you have a happy family and you used to draw that when you were young GOOD FOR YOU.

Because I NEVER felt that way to draw that and I was NEVER childish like some people.

I don't go around telling people I don't like:" NOBODY LIKES YOU!"

Because that is plain childish like this guy I know that goes to my school, he totally speaks what he feels but he doesn't use the word "I" but the word "everybody".

Please speak like a 16 year old and not like 10 years ago.

Okay enough of my rantings^^

Some of you guys don't deserve this.

Anyway so much for studying.

I only did so little revision here in Malaysia but WHATEVER.

I can catch up with the remaining of the holidays I have.

THATs the view I was talking about at the steamboat restaurant.

Oh and I can be childish too.

I HATE YOU GUYS WHO INSULT ME AND YOU SUCK.

One last thing: if anyone know what's Majon Buu or something Buubuu similar, tell me.^^

16 June 2014

Malaysia

Haters

You who sincerely admire me thank you.

You who hate me thank you so very much.

Those of you who like my posts please do continue reading.

As for those who don't like my posts, please do continue reading also.

I like people reading my blogs!!:D

And my ask.fm is really funny.

Join the fun if you want! ask.fm/qtpx

It's really surprising when hate is being let out of the cage of someone's heart don't you think?

Sometimes it doesn't matter how many hate you, it matters how many actually like you.

Do you all really think all my ex's are bad?

Sometimes it's really funny to think that some people actually could keep such hateful emotions.

And it's even funny to think I actually opened a platform for them to have the opportunity to attack me.

But I WILL NOT CLOSE THIS BLOG.

Too bad you stupid people I don't really give a shit about your stupid comments as an anon really.

I just like taking my blog as an open diary, at least I don't lie.

I know what I am so don't bother telling me because I don't like listening to haters' words.

15 June 2014

Malaysia

Progress.

Basically, there is no progress.

In everything.

I studied yes, but not as much as I thought I would.

But enough for me to do well ( I guess?)

And guess what, staying in Malaysia for such a long time, and then time do it's trick again, the one where it flies pass without you noticing it.

But here are the things I did over here.

Look at the bulging muscles on that leg eew.

But I did my exercises and I maintained my weight.

Toning will continue but no more losing weight.

What the shit I dropped one cup size T.T

Went to buy swimwear and guess what?!

My favourite one does not have small size and medium is too lose.

So much for getting an ideal figure by losing weight.

Went for wedding and the dress almost slide down cause it's too lose.

You! Reading this and laughing behind the screen... CAN ANYONE HELP ME.

How do maintain my weight and enlarge those hills?!?! 

Okay I'm going insane but why? FUCK MY LIFE.

But who cares cause my cousins still think I've got bikini body cause I've got abssssss.

My second home in Malaysia.

Sunshine day~

Top of the mountain in my PE attire. 

That pants is super... Ugly.

But that's my very very old pants that I supposedly grew out of and now it's too lose -.-

No butt no nothing. Ughhhhh.

Have you ever seen gym equipments at the top of the mountain?

Pardon my face.

Yoga at the top of another mountain.

One tick off my bucket list xD

I'm going to the movies tonight.

I think it's: 

how to train your dragon 2

I heard it's not bad. So byeeee! I'm gonna choose my outfit!

Wait! Does papaya milk really help with the boobs?

Okay I stop xD

13 June 2014

Malaysia

Worn and torn

I'm back.

Again on the same day for yet another blogpost, and from my outing with my cousin and her friends.

Let's just say it's one of a kind.

I played till I used the lasts of my energy and still played.

How so?

Well I had hell lotta new experience where we sat a "train?" Of whatever you call it to a place rather far off from where I live.

And the train had sections: male and female.

Yes, that's so not sexist.

I sat the train with these people, got to know them well.

There's XF, LY and Yinn(my couziee)

Plus XF's brother who is also one of my main characters today.

Here's the thing. We heard about unexpected company, a bunch of guys which my cousin and her friends predict would try to hit on me. (Happy to hear that, but what the shit seriously?!)

Because hitting on someone is not really school culture in Singapore, I was surprised by malaysia's. I was not convinced I would be popular notice.

Until ofcourse we had to wait for 3 whole hours for everyone to arrive and to enter.

And main point, TO FINALLY SEE THEM.

I sound a lot like a desperate bimbo but after you've heard so much about these guys, you'd be interested to know if you WERE REALLY GONNA BE HIT ON RIGHT.

So when they arrived (not joking), I had all eyes on me.

Okay it's a given that I stood out like a sore thumb because firstly, I was the only shit that isn't from their school AND, moreover not even from Malaysia.

Trust me, I had handsome and not so handsome guys all at once.

Some were already attached so not from my list.

That place provided water games and those were the highlight.

So honestly, I was rather disappointed my cousin and her friends were not only protective but rather conservative, so there's the no hanging out with guys rule.

But whatever, I still got my way (somewhat)

Anyway, first part of the outing, we played dry games like the haunted house, Viking ship etc.

Had loads of fun.

But my favourite place was the pool.

There's this extra large pool there which we spent 3/4 of our time today at.

Well I had loads of fun there.

First time we went there, I played till I was so worn and exhausted I could barely walk. Even my laugh was breathless

I was really happy. And how did I play?

Well it ranges from splashing, to kicking, to dunking, to wrestling and to attempts of murder.

All by XF's brother.

He's younger than me and I treat him as a younger brother. But teenagers being teenagers, they had to think otherwise but I think we really gave off that wrong feeling.

But whatever. I was being bullied because I was dunked under water for more times than I can count.

But no, I was not only STILL happy, I was soooooo elated because I really had so much fun and really forgot all about Singapore and it's troubles.

So moving on, we had a really fun lunch at subway. No need to elaborate, it's just fun because there's me and XF's brother messing around again and it was hilarious.

So after that we played this water game which included the guys, yes those that were eyeing me "so called".

It was really scary where we fell wrong a slide or tunnel straight down into a humongous pit. It was thrilling, really fun. And also secretly because the guys didn't seem to treat me like a nobody.

Not joking, I have some serious self esteem issues that come from nowhere sometimes.

Here comes the important part.

There was a pool party, with a DJ and ALOT of people.

It was one hell of an experience.

Hell, it a fucking good way.

People asks me if I went clubbing before, I had thousands who said I'm suitable for it.

I went for one near to clubbing experience before, in a dark room with blasting music. I danced till I forgot where I was. It was really really damn good.

But aside today's pool party, that was nothing.

Because hell there was people from all places, all nationality, every kind of weird and awesome people PLUS those guys*winks* there; and they were all partying their heads off.

It was a lot like that, actually it WAS like that.

The music was at a constant high, and so was my body and my mind.

I was shaking, swaying or you could even say rocking to the music.

I forgot my face (almost) for once.

I forgot of all the silly rules of a prim and proper girl.

I was just dancing and having so much fun.

Those guys: S, striped singlet, a few dimpled handsome guys and A.

Those were all I can remember really.

Well they were so much fun.

They had the guts, they let themselves out. They went mad, they went wild, just the way I like it.

I'm serious. They were so crazy there was splashing fights with me.

Or my like gang up against me water splash.

There was a sexy dance showdown, SEVERAL dance showdown with me by S. Who was the one constantly trying to seduce me or something it was funny.

Because my cousin and my friends listed him as top on the list of "must avoid" guys.

But well, how could I miss such fun?

But I did more of teasing because my cousin would never let me hear the end of it if there was groping.

Not that if my cousin weren't around there would be groping.

But S is not really my priority since it's more of him taking interest to me and not me.

I'm just being a girl, which one doesn't love attention?

But attention from people that catches your eye is a whole new thing.

Not that i like him or anything but there's just this one guy that got almost ALL of my attention. This guy with striped singlet.

He's not handsome and neither is he really ugly.

But attractive he is because I couldn't control myself from thinking about him at all. AT ALL. And that's not healthy.

But it's today?! So who cares?

Anyway yes he gave me almost as much attention as S gave me. The focus is on that word: "ALMOST"

I had to fight for his attention because some fucking whore was wearing very little in her pathetic bikini (YES, that's jealousy you hear) okay given, she's rather, okay maybe very pretty. But neh, her figure is not even good. She obviously doesn't maintain -.-

I know big boobs and more revealing skin is a plus for guy's attention but THIS IS SO UNFAIR.

She doesn't fight fair because I was getting the attention before she waddled in with her big boobs and all #bitchplease

Okay my bimbo mode is on.

So okay maybe I didn't lose entirely but what.the.fuck with my cousin watching me closely and with her boobies as distraction, it was hardly fair because I got only like 1/2 of the attention from mr striped singlet and I AM NOT AT ALL HAPPY TO SHARE.

Not trying to be arrogant or anything, but shameless as it is, I WOULD TOTALLY HAVE KICKED HER ASS IF I HAD A FUCKING BIKINI.

So you have a bikini, BIG MUCH?

Okay but she is nice with a nice smile and all.

And we are so called the same kind because she totally enjoys the attention she's getting (which was supposed to be mine)

So it turns out, miss big boobies with a skimpy little bikini shoved her ass into all the guys' faces and had their attention too. But I had it too and it was really war and bloodshed because by the time it's nearing the end of the party, I was so worn my face was flushed and I can't even be bothered with striped singlet anymore.

But due to XF (which I'm very pissed off with at the moment), we had to leave early.

The world is so unfair, like seriously.

I didn't miss the look those guys gave me ( that why don't you stay longer so that I can "mess around with you more" Look), RIGHT BEFORE THEY TURN AROUND AND SHOVED THEIR FACES INTO SOME GREAT BOOBIES.

Okay I stop.

So we had to leave early because apparently XF and her brother had to leave early cause XF's brother became rather sulky and very much like a party pooper. I know I totally threw him aside but he's definitely just a brother and not one I would party with.

We(my cousin and I)wanted to go home with them, just like we came with them.

TURNS OUT. We were being stranded at such a faraway place because XF's parents decided to fetch them and it's "too packed" for us. I totally believe the car can't fit us because we are the size of two dinosaurs.

Ya right. And to think I forfeited my fight with miss boobies for such retarded people.

Fuck my life.

Okay so my cousin cried out of exasperation and helplessness. We totally had no idea how to go back.

Meanwhile mr striped guy was staring at me looking like a goldfish with mouth open and all.

I really don't know why but yes, he was staring at me trying to calm my cousin down.

But that's all he did, no approach, no nothing-.- 

My guess is that he's staring at me like that only because his two extra large things aren't there anymore.

So I conveniently ignored him.

Though I already miss that fun I had with him.

Whatever man, my day just can't get worser.

We had to take a cab home where I was so tired I slept in the cab AND dreamt of him.

What the hell is wrong with me?!?!

And I came home and ate a lot.

My fucking figure is so at risk and so is my fucking studies.

I hate miss boobies okay bye.

(Actually well, I'm alright no mental problem there relax)

3 June 2014

Malaysia