It Changed

When you think... or wish, everything gets better

when you feel your heart lifting and beating in sync with the vibrations of your laugh

when you lie in his arms, his shirt, sweaty and wet

when you dont mind th stench of sweat,

because as usual you're being overwhelmed by his smell.

but what he doesn't know,

is you're secretly mesmerized by a sound that belonged to you, and only you.

it was't his voice.

it's his heart beating,

as you lay there safe and protected,

in his arms and on his chest.

i hate goodbyes,

i hate quarreling.

i hate it when your mother gets her way with you,

because you're mine.

the relationship is ours,

i'll protect it like a warrior,

with my life.

i always beg silently,

please don't break my heart.

i pray to someone above,

please let him understand my love.

love is such a complex thing.

It kept getting out of reach,

this love.

It kept getting back in a firm grip.

And then it got away completely.

"let's break up"

although it was a message.

it resounded in my whole being.

"let's break up"

i cannot stand you anymore.

your temper.

I'm sorry.

1 year and almost 3 months.

"let's break up"

it broken apart.

i knew i said it alot.

and it hurt, when i said it, it hurt really bad.

my lungs would burn.

the tears would fall.

but not like the only time you said it.

just not like it.

i hope you understand,

i lost everything tonight.

even though,

the heart is broken.

i still remember that sound of your heartbeat.

the smell that got me crazy.

i won't give up.

but i need time.

Hey there,

let's give it a try,

okay?

25 November 2015

Singapore