Well hello people. from the title you know it's not gonna be good. In fact, i'm facing my worst of my life i think... Let's hope i survive this period of time. Anyways will be posting quotes, pictures and some of my badbad days and what happened...
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A reminder i have to bear in mind consantly.... Why? because finally, my heart died. For both E.C and W.Y... I've really given up hope... What happened between me and E.C? there's just so many distrust, and soo many people standing between us, and ofcourse, we couldnt even push past the people and things holding us apart. so we barely started, and then, ended. W.Y... That's a really long story... but let me tell you, whatever happened just broke my heart again, it just killed me really... So that is what i drew and what i feel, when it all happen. hopeless but still pleading... well because i scolded a girl, which my co curriculum society had chosen (as mentioned in the previous blogpost) online, and actually was very nasty with my use of words. Hence, i was called in for a meeting with my seniors. Well, W.Y is actually the vice-president (second highest position) of the society, so he was there, sitting right infront of me... So close, yet so far. familiar quote? i have been waiting for a chance to be so close to him ever since we broke last year, but definitely never in my imagination, i would have known it would be under such circumstances. Yes, he scolded me, very badly. when i say bad, i mean terrible and i was so taken aback so hurt and so painful, that my whole being shook. he was cold, nothing like the him i knew.. the him that says he loved me. no traces of it. I would have gladly recived a billion slaps from and trillion people, but not even a second of the things he said a the attitude he gave. No, i wish it was a dream... but no, it wasn't. he really doesn't care anymore. Yes, i cried, i broke down to the smallest pieces, to the lasts of my happiness is gone. Yes, it was hours, and i never really smiled since then. I couldn't, because i could not and would never forget that look, that expression, that tone, he gave me. And just because i scolded someone online. I know i'm in the wrong, but the punishment, must it be that terrible? not only so, i got the lowest position in the society. punishments... so i deserve it... maybe i did because the person i scolded is really nice... but W.Y? i'm speechless. what we had just disappeared. how incredible.   oh and i guess a cake without some cherry on top might not be as perfect, so to top things off, my two "friends" shee and baby whatever name i cant thing to change now, fell out with me. BECAUSE THEY'RE too childish. Jusr like them alright. they were being an irritating people to hang around with, yet i tolerated for such a long time. but when i finally just show a little of annoyance, they just went off. making joy out of my misery, and continue being childish. i should've known alright, i shouldve know they're just a couple of good for nothings. Well, whutever then. I DONT NEED THEM IN MY LIFE. so all in all, there's just blow after blow, stab after stab. I'm as good as dead.   Haha yes that's it... all my damn feelings clustered up into one big knife, stabbing my heart. Okayy, thinking to the brighter side... i have boly and tessalyn beside me. (: i guess that's the sole reason i'm still hanging on, barely, but still.  will try to believe this. for now, let everything go... And ofcourse... i have my brother and my exam coming up! so yes... i have to stay strong and try to do well. wish me luck! have to go for now, dad's asking me to go...
13 April 2013
Singapore
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