So
hello haha. It is so unexpected that I actually have excess time to squeeze in
a blogpost! Well, today is the second day of mid year examinations, yet, it is
ALREADY disastrous. Don’t get me started on the details. The people of the same
level/year as me took mathematics examinations today and composition free
writing yesterday. The maths paper was alright, though I did relatively badly
and it was NOT what I expected from myself. BUT, I guess there’s nothing I can
do about it yeaa? And also, my Kong. She cried terribly. She was very disappointed
with her performance as well. WELL, I told her everything has its first time,
since she told me it was gonna be the first time she did so atrociously for
math. So I spent quite a few hours after the exams with her, and yup, she’s
alright XP we just did a few silly things and chatted. AND THEN, I was supposed
to be studying and preparing for my next few papers which were to be on the day
after tomorrow. (social studies and additional mathematics) BUT SINCE TOMORROW
IS A PUBLIC HOLIDAY THEN… I shall take a little of a break again! XD well since
it was much of an emotional day… I thought a lot and just… didn’t do anything
about it actually hehehe ^^ but if i did a little sketching it wouldn't be considered as slacking off and being complacent and lazy about examinations right? yes. so here's what i drew.
 |
| Did not have much of a reason as usual why did i draw this. but just... perhaps i'm missing someone again? talking to Kong. about here dreams and plans for the future got me thinking quite alot. Plans and dreams and goals. I used to have plenty of them, plenty for me to work for, those were my so called "purpose of life". i wanted to be a top student, i wanted to be successful in my future career, i looked far ahead and have higher dreams and higher hopes. But it all came crashing down, because i couldn't see any future, what was a clear goal became a horrifying mystery, as i imprinted this one guy, included him in those dreams. I saw a perfect future, i saw it better than i planned, but now, it was not possible anymore. Because he left, and he's not gonna come back to make my dreams come true. what had seem so real then when he was right there in my arms, turned out to be nothing but a lying deceiving dream. yet, it is obvious, i couldn't let go of that dream. I realized i had so many aims and goals which i have thrown away and forgotten about, in the midst of trying to hold on to a person, whom i was incapable and unwilling to let go. but the reality is, he has long forgotten me, left me behind and went at a high speed to pursue HIS dreams, HIS future, which doesn't include me. |
 |
I
should probably stop holding on to that love we had, those memories that were
perfect. I should probably finally believe that this guy I am painfully in love
with, is not mine to love, and not meant for me. I should.
30 April 2013
Singapore
|
No comments:
Post a Comment