Well, results are out. Somehow, it is rather disastrous.
BUT, pleasing… hmm, perhaps I’m really going insane but I’m seriously not a
little affected, okay maybe just a little teeny bit, but otherwise very happy
about my results XP it is no good trust me, will waste no breath on describing
the extent of the disaster but one of the reasons I guess is because, MAJORITY
OF MY SCHOOLMATES DID EQUALLY OR A LOT EVEN WORSE, that’s why I am rather
comforted actually mine is not thaaaaat bad. Okay, I know it is rather bad of
me to build happiness on other’s misery, I’ll try to cut down on that a little
and there’ll be pictures soon hopefully, to show you my really rather horrible
results but well, don’t be too shocked at my extremely low level of intelligence!
Oh and well… ofcourse there gotta be news on some usual things I guess… like
haha my relationships. Let’s talk about what’s top on the list… guess? Yep if
you guessed W.Y (: the title’s all about himmmmm.
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wondering
where, what, why the picture? Well, that’s the dock/seaside/beach or whatever
you call it, me and W.Y often go previously to our dates. We often sat the bus
all the way to its last or near last stops and alight to find this “magical”
(at least to us) place, which we stumbled upon unintentionally. I loved it
there with him, it was like a place we talked our hearts out. No one, will I ever
bring to replace him to this place. So, I kinda went alone that day, early in
the morning. Yes, ofcourse there’s the heartache, from the emptiness and ever
existent feeling that there’s an empty space that was beside me back then… yes,
I missed him terribly and I’m just gonna say it, going back to this place made
me realize how much I loved this guy, and how many memories there are for me to
grieve over the lost of him. And well, W.Y, do you know OUR PLACE, our lovely
place, had such a beautiful view of the sunrise?
Well,
I was stupid but happy, since it was so far away and so dangerous and deserted
there yet I still went for god knows why. However, I guess it was worth it. I sat
exactly at the bench we sat at then… and everything, came back like a replay,
and I could almost hear his voice speaking to me. Yes, I smiled through tears,
he was always there, in my heart and in my mind. Going back there which I was
afraid to go since the break because of the foreseen pain… I found out that,
the memories didn’t fade as time pass, they just grew more important and hid,
at the deepest and darkest corner of my brain, coming out when I really missed
him too much. I sat there even though the sun was glaring and it was really
warm, I sat there even though half of my mind was screaming for me to leave, to
beware of the pain that would hit, the wound that would be ripped open once
again, I sat there when every lovely memory that hit me like an electric shock
played through my brain, and I refused to leave, refuse to leave the place,
where I could still clearly believe, it was not all but a dream. but ofcourse, i soon found it difficult to breathe, because i really had the urge to let go and cry out, and really beg whoever there may be to help me, to help me get the guy that i so much wanted, back into my life, back into my arms. because, i am really hurting without him.
Despite all, i was still happy. yes, still insanely happy...
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Yep,
if you’re thinking: “is she really going outta her mind? She call that
happiness?” yes and yes again, I too doubt my sanity, and yes, because I really
felt happy. Like really. Because why, everytime something flash in my mind, it
would be his voice, his face and the lovely times, so real so believeable. It was
so easy, so easy to believe again, that he loved me. So easy to fall for the
lie and finally be happy? Yes, I was so happy. I smiled I even laughed.
Remember
how you used to purposely walk behind me and wait and see when I will finally,
unable to resist the urge and turn behind and look at you? And how you smiled
smugly when I did, how you smiled so lovingly and so naturally every minute? How
I used to laugh and joke here, and forget about everything else? Do you even
remember how you loved to jokingly mock and imitate my actions, especially me
jutting my lower lip out? Do you remember?
Well,
I do. I remember every single second and moment, and I would forever.
Because, i can't seem to let go, this love i have for you. i really can't.
So, before i let flow more tears behind this screen, i shall change the topic. I find a new liking, a new interest and surprisingly, it is the guitar. (acoustic) I LOVED THE GUITAR ARGHHHHH. i really love it haha. and great news is, my moma's buying me one!!!! XD hehehe, just thinking about it makes me rather happy. so that's something good AT LEAST.
To be honest, i still have other things to update you all, but the next time alright? i have also found another entertainment- dramas. off to them. hahahahaha, seems like i found alot od backup and pasttimes for the june school holidays ya? sighs, that time last year was... well, goodbye and write to you again hopefully soon.
** sometimes, memories are worth the pain**
 
17 May 2013
Singapore
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