I've tried my best, I think it's time I gave up

It's actually already a fact. Or many after I received confirmation from reliable source that he, W.Y really has another girl. At first, i surprised myself. Because I didn't even twitch an eyebrow.

I thought that maybe that was how it felt to be numb to everything.

Like perhaps when it hurts so much, you can't feel it anymore.

I was glad, but the ferocity I felt towards him was beyond.

I felt so furious, I hated him so much, for finding another girl.

Shouldn't his words to me, be at least at the back of his mind?

"I won't go into a relationship,at least not before I graduate this school"

Wasn't that what he told me?

Those were the words I clung on to with my life, I hung on to it with every shimmer of hope I can muster.

But you have to shatter that tiny little piece of positive I have in me.

You have to stab me hard and straight through my heart.

I wanted to believe your words, even though it's unbelievable I wanted to believe them.

Or I needed to?

My life is full of fake materials and lies now.

Then when I thought I could let go of you because I hated you now, they said no.

Who said no? My heart.

It screamed at me, using the times we had, the things we went through together.

It forced me to ask, why? Why W.Y or how? How did you manage to just treat all these that seemed so valuable, that I cherished with my life, with such nonchalance? It's beyond my mind to comprehend.

I have been thinking.

Whose that girl? Is she like me? How is she like? Does she make you smile that lovely smile?

But some things I know.

You would tell her what you told me, the exact same sweet things.

You would smile to her like you smiled to me.

You would say you love her like you did to me.

You would hug her like you did to me.

She would replace me, like I never did existed in you life, in your heart.

That really hurts, it hurts beyond description.

When this is how I feel, that is how you feel.

There's also one thing I'm certain.

Remember dear, wherever you go, whatever you do, you'll never find someone who could care for you and love you like I do, never.

Goodbye dear.

29 August 2013

Singapore