when you realized that you didn't manage to put everything past you.
when you realized that once a chance, the right moment of deja vu, everything will come crashing so hard you could be killed from the inside in an instant.
i had 2.4 km run today, the other time was postponed.
i totally never expected what life had in hold for me.
after the run, an image flashed in me.
i remembered who was there last year when i ran, with receiving arms.
i remember who was there, his voice great over the phone.
i long for your arms again.
i long for your voice again.
i'm laughing at myself.
somewhere deep inside, something is mocking me.
I haven't forgotten.
not at all and it still hurts because, you were there, but now you aren't.
that was how it was like.
why?!
why did those two monsters out there have to ruin it all for me?
Just like last year, i received lots of scolding.
but no one was there to support me, to stop those tears.
he's gone.
then i remembered, i'm alone.
at least i don't feel the pain because it just is part of my life already.
i made someone happy at least today, she thought i was happy and didn't worry.
19 August 2013
Singapore
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