Sigh... How do i put it?

How long was it since i posted? why does it seem so long:P Anyway, just maybe tell you all roughly what happened these few days? I remember i had loads to tell... but you the the feeling when you suddenly cant recall something important you wanted to say? Let me think... Okay, how about my parents quarreled and my Mom just agreed that the job of "controlling" and "teaching" and being in charge of me and brother would be my Father's. I mother just kind of washed her hands off us. ?!?!?!?!?! seriously ?! my parents are being childish okay... Then my father is those kind of old-fahion and stubborn and unreasonable so when he gets all the control... There's no need for me to elaborate further? BUT surprisingly i wasnt really affected, perhaps it's because this week we have like a million tests to take, and i was a little stress. Plus some haiya i dont know, weird things and maybe BAD things><
So i will say some memorable or significant or I dont know, things that are important? Let's start from my closest dear, my KONG. that i mention before (notice a full-stop after her name yea... she's one of the three full-stop people i have in this world <3) well what about her? Let's say theres this bastard, which she dated before but hurt her extremely much. sorry i sidetrack abit, this bastard right, he went to break my KONG.'s heart by "losing feelings" for her suddenly after they dated for i think 9 months? TRUST ME, im so extremely pissed with him. Oh but he was smart enough to regret and court her back, so my KONG.'s dream came true... because she waited to get back with him alsoo.... So back to my story... Well ever since she got back together with him, Im envious, and happy to say their relationship is soooooooo much better than their first one... Hope they last(: And so, this guyyyyy ah, let's call him um Y.F, he snatched my bestfriend!!!! MY sister!!!! (:< Haiz, but what to do? I dont blame her at all okay. So what's my point for saying all these? well after what seems like decades, we finally went to lunch together again!!! And she introduced me to good food YAYYY. IT IS SO DAMN DELICIOUS. In a restaurant named "Fish & CO." i thinkkk. wow, Fish plus cheese, hot and melts in your mouth... Come'on, be jealous of my awesome bestfriend and foooooood!:P

Such a big portion also....

Can you see the cheese oozing out!!!!!!! ARGH.... So nicee... But nowadays i can't resist the temptation to eat unhealthy, oily and spicy stuffs!!! I'm spoiling my appearance!! But thankfully, no outbreak of horrible pimples:D Then my brother also didnt make a big fuss about my parents' incident, he was also damn sweet! Second full-stop person revealed!! My awesome brother. Okay, he loves me(although he never admits), but he's really dumb. HAHAHHA. i know i'm mean but oh well. He was trying to be sweet and cook me breakfast this morning. Like you know he ATTEMPTED to cook me half boiled egg... and i ended up eating? Cooked egg + egg shell + abundance of black sauce + alot of pepper too well so it's = horrible tasting. But being a kind and great girl and sister, i ate everything okay!!!

Look at the whole spoon that's filled with sauce...

So umm these are the good stuffs. Umm but haha, i obviously have to spoil everything AGAIN. okay, poor me got a broken heart again. Story goes...

I was walking at the first level of my school grounds... Well, first to recap, remember that time i say DEAR. tease this girl and i felt very bad? well, that day the girl... let's call her YY... she was walking behind me... and then DEAR.'s friend was screaming from his class at the fourth level window:" *YY*, *DEAR.* loves you!!!" (the actual thing they said are the actual names of YY and DEAR.) When i heard DEAR.'s name and that he loves another girl, although it's just his friend teasing... My heart sank to the deepest pits... it's like you could see the instant change in my expression, my friend that was with me saw... to make things worse... i think i heard YY, who was supposed to be my friend, say:"i love you too, *DEAR.*(his name). And hearing this come out from her mouth make me stop in my tracks for this split second, and everything in me sorta froze for that second. So, now they had feelings for each other?! Trust me, it was from devastation, to intense anger to frustruations in just that short time. Then, just as i thought my day couldn't get any worse, it did. i went to the fourth level accompanying my friiend, and guess what? i saw DEAR. waiting for her outside his class... That was it, my heart broke... like i could feel it okay, feel it hurt within me... Ofcourse i was going to cry. i held it in... I did not cry in school... I insulted her and him to many people. I was furious, really furious. Then i realise i hate him. Hated him to the core. For doing whatever he's doing. I hated both of them. I always could not hate him, and that day, i finally did, and alot too. I just was sooo angry i threw insults of them to everyone i was talking to, online too. now looking back... maybe i was unreasonable? i mean, he's not mine anymore... Well, ofcourse i told KONG. She said many things, i just continued insulting... until she said:"let go luh... He's not coming back anymore" That's when it hit me, like seriously really hard, i didnt scold anymore, I finally gave in and cried. i cried so very hard. It was like when i first broke with him. I just kept crying and crying and screaming WHY?! i felt as if my life is totally a mess, totally not worth living. I just kept on crying, no one was at home fortunately... until maybe an hour later or so? My brother came home... He was so shocked. And when he know the reason he just said: you have to experience it to know it. So i just basically wiped away my tears and thought. Real deep and hard... He's not coming back anymore... How those words, those words i have been avoiding all this while, hit me like a slap across my face. Yes, he's not coming back. What's past has past.

Ofcourse, my anger subsided and i realise how ridiculous i was to insult them. But i still am feeling bitter honestly... but i obviously can't hate him for long... But i guess i have to learn right? there will be one day where i would say: I'm over him... Right? i would right? let's wait and hope i will not have any more of these heartbreaks. But, let's say, I am just being crazy as always. I think? ):

Heyhey! but my days after that day were all quite enjoyable or sort of problems free. THANKFULLY. 

So blissfully in love, loving you so much then...

Still, loving you in the end...

**Sometimes, you just don't want to forget the person that managed to tear you apart**

28 February 2013

Singapore